Evil Oddie

Joke Time

Post on September 3rd, 2008 by Oddie

First-year students at a Medical

School were receiving their first anatomy class using a real dead human body.They all gathered around the surgery table where the body was covered with a white sheet.

The professor began the lecture by telling them: ‘In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.’ To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.

‘Go ahead and do the same thing,’ he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.When everyone was finished, the professor looked at them and said,

‘The second most important quality is observation.

I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.

Now learn to pay attention.’

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The Real Story about Eve

Post on March 13th, 2008 by Oddie

EVE’S SIDE OF THE STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God.

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It’s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They’re a real pain,” Reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc… she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced”.

“That’s a fair point,” replied God, “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.”

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

“Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she replied, “But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Lets see……….where did I put that useless boob?”

Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?